The Amazing G-Spot
The Gräfenberg spot, or G-Spot, is a small area in women behind the pubic bone, surrounding the urethra and accessible through the anterior wall of the vagina. It is putatively an erogenous zone that when stimulated leads to high levels of sexual arousal and powerful orgasms. The G-spot has always been controversial – some women say it’s essential for orgasms while others say it’s non-existent. Psychosexual therapist Paula Hall looks at how to find it, what to do with it – and why it doesn’t matter if you haven’t got one.
Where is it?
If you have one (and I mean if, that’s a big if), it’s 2.5cm to 5cm (1in to 2in) inside the vagina on the front wall. You should be able to feel it with your finger. If you’re not sexually aroused it may be no bigger than a pea; once you’re aroused it increases to the size of a 2p piece. It’s actually more a of a zone than a spot.
If you want to explore and find out whether you have one, feel for an area that’s rough, a bit like a walnut, rather than smooth and silky like the rest of the vaginal wall.
The What Spot?
Originally known as the Grafenberg Spot, the G-Spot was named after the gynaecologist Ernst Gräfenberg, who first described it in 1944. Practitioners of tantric sex have been talking about this ‘sacred spot’ for over 1,000 years.
What is it?
For many women, it’s a highly sensitive, highly erotic area that provides hours of pleasure. For others it’s a knobbly bit that, when touched too much, creates an overwhelming sensation of needing a wee. Some women can’t feel any sensation at all while others don’t seem to have one at all.
There are a number of different theories about what the G-Spot or area actually is. One view is that it is an area of prostatic tissue similar to the male prostate. The absence of the Y chromosome in the developing female fetus deposits the cells in a similar location and voila – the G-Spot. Complete with a similar type of sensitivity to the male prostate.
Another expert agrees with the prostate theory but expands it to say that this is not the only reason for sensitivity. He points to the clitoris and the urethra as other sources of pleasure, both of which can be stimulated via the front wall of the vagina. Therefore there are a number of erogenous zones and we should stop seeking the elusive G Spot and instead rename it the “anterior wall erogenous complex” – catchy!
A further expert who was first responsible for publicising the G-Spot has recently discovered another use. In research she has shown that stimulation of the G-Spot area can increase pain threshold by up to 47%. If the stimulation is arousing, the pain threshold increases by up to 84% and a massive 107% on orgasm. Her hypothesis is that this sensitive and erogenous area is one of natures natural painkillers for childbirth. So there you go. Basically, we still don’t know for sure – but the important thing is to find out what you’ve got and what you like.
What to do with it
Once you’ve established whether you’ve got one or not, you need to discover whether you have one that gives you pleasure or just feels a bit annoying. Stroking is usually the most enjoyable form of stimulation. Sexual virtuosos recommend inserting the forefinger to about the second knuckle and making a “come here” motion towards the front vaginal wall. You’ll need to experiment with pressure and length of stroke to find out what feels best for you. It’s important that you’re sexually aroused first, and also worth noting that many women say sensitivity varies throughout the month.
During stimulation, the first sensation might be the need to go to the loo, possibly because the G-Spot is on the front wall so your bladder is being pushed. You can check this out by making sure your bladder’s empty first then seeing how it feels. The first couple of times it might be a bit odd, but many women say a little perseverance is more than worth it.
Feeling it During Intercourse
Depending on the size and exact location of your G-Spot, you may or may not be able to feel stimulation during intercourse. You’re most likely to feel something if you have your pelvis raised. Another popular position is to be on all fours or bending over from a standing position and allowing penetration from behind. You’ll need to experiment.
Some women say they ejaculate when their G-Spot is stimulated. Research has shown that approximately 10 per cent of women expel between 9ml and 900 ml of fluid from the urethra during arousal and orgasm. A group of scientists examined some of this ejaculatory fluid and discovered prostatic enzymes, fuelling the theory that the G-Spot is the equivalent of the male prostate. However, another group of scientists examined the fluid and said it was very similar to urine. Latest thoughts are that the fluid is an altered form of urine that changes in chemical composition due to sexual arousal. The research continues.
A Final Word on the Subject
Remember, we’re all unique. You may have a sensitive G-Spot or you may not. If you want to explore, do it light-heartedly. Don’t turn it into the Holy Grail; there are many, many ways to enjoy your sexuality, and the G-Spot is just one of them. Where’s the G-Spot and how do you find it?
G Spot Technique
With your fingers approximately two to three inches in, move your fingers in even circles all around the inside of the vagina. It generally feels best if you keep consistent, firm pressure along the entire length of the vaginal walls while fingering. You may wish to give a LITTLE extra pressure towards her belly as long as you don’t break the steady rotational rhythm. Stop rotating your fingers and rest your fingertips on the (usually slightly ridged) area of the vagina just behind the pubic bone and exert pressure towards her belly (upwards). This is direct G Spot stimulation, and it usually feels best if the fingers are subtly moving. You can move your fingers in small, slow circles, or point your fingers more sharply and rock them back and forth.
An advanced and very successful technique is a combination of the two. Trace the inside of her vagina with your finger(s), while moving in and out. Make sure that your fingertip always hits the g spot on each rotation. Finding a nice rhythm is critical in this technique, and when you get it right, she’ll be asking you how you learned that!
Stimulating G Spot During Intercourse
This topic is covered in greater detail in the vaginal intercourse article in the Intercourse section, but keep in mind the angle you position yourself during intercourse. Being able to stimulate the G Spot during intercourse will definitely increase the likelihood of your partner reaching orgasm through intercourse.
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Popular myths of masculinity and female misconception about large penis’ will have little to do with stimulation of the G Spot. If you have an average size penis, and can hold an erection, you can stimulate the G Spot and bring your lady partner to a profound orgasm. How is this done? You need the correct sexual position, and there is one great position which is ideal for G Spot stimulation. The first is with the man sitting on the edge of a bed, and woman mounted on top of him, with her legs wrapped around his back. The man’s penis is inserted in the woman’s vagina, and the woman adapts the depth exactly to stimulate the G Spot. No thrusting is necessary or required. Just maintain the erection, press as hard as you can from the pelvic area, so the penis puts pressure on the G Spot. The rest is all automatic from the female, and soon she will arrive at a deep and satisfying orgasm. This position also stimulates the woman’s clitoris, and this double stimulation brings about this great female orgasm.
G-Spot Stimulation Variations
A man can insert two well lubricated fingers, fingernail side down, and in a “come here” motion, press the two fingers against the g-spot area. This is a very good technique also done during cunnilingus, and has a very positive effect on a woman’s ability to orgasm and re-orgasm in quick succession.
Where does the ejaculate come from?
There are several theories here on this, but remaining constant amongst all of them is that female ejaculation comes from G Spot stimulation (please read G Spot section for more information).
When the G Spot is stimulated over a period of time, the spongy tissue that creates this area fills with fluid. Women who can ejaculate often hold back, thinking that it is urine. The ejaculate does come out of the urethra, like urine, so that is where the confusion takes place. So what’s left? You might want to learn how to get someone to ejaculate, or how to do it yourself. Like exploring everything else new in your experience of sex, you should work towards it, but not put unnecessary stresses on yourself by making it your goal.
Also, it is not known whether all women are able to ejaculate, so if you or your partner is unable to – don’t worry, but perhaps keep trying once in a while. As you already know, the ejaculate comes out the urethra, so it feels a lot like urine. Apart from people who love golden showers, how many people do you know who feel comfortable enough to risk urinating on or around their partners? It may be a good idea to allow yourself or your partner some privacy to understand this function of their body; at the very least let your partner now that you are excited about it, not grossed out. That being said, great places to try this out include the shower or bathtub, in or near water, or on op of some old blankets that you don’t mind getting wet.